Book of Stupidity 2
by Hopeless27
Summary: Atobe decides to tutor, Oshitari plays MASH, Shishido is squished, Mukahi inhales alcohol, Jirou discovers switches and Ohtori is worried for his senpai tachi. Yeah, just another Hyotei day. Implied Dirty and Silver. Rated T for language. UTTER CRACK


**Rated:**** K+**

**Summary**: **Book of Stupidity 2, the boys need help in geography, and who better to help than a tensai and a buchou?**

**Pairings: ****Implied atoji, dirty and silver**

**Category: ****humour/ general**

**Characters:**** Hyotei**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own PoT.**

* * *

_Dude, eh, another story, it's the sequel to BOS though, cuz u noe, my friends are stupid. Here's a list of my Hyotei stories:_

_**Hyotei Phobia**_

_**Hyotei Library Session**_

_**Bets and Lovers**_

_**Book of Stupidity**_

_**Fights and Idiot**_

_**Switching Places**_

* * *

The Hyotei senior regulars and Ohtori (Who came because Shishido asked him) sat in a classroom, studying for a Geography test and catching up on their homework. Well some of them were, Atobe was the tutor and Oshitari was there for the amusement factor.

"For the last time, permafrost is soil that doesn't melt!! Get it? Perma…permanent…frost?"

"Ohhh…. So why can't they just call it perma-soil? Wouldn't that be easier?" Jirou raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know, why don't you ask the person who named this?"

"So what's deciduous?" Jirou asked.

"It's trees that change leaves every year, retard!" Shishido snapped.

"So coniferous is evergreen?" Mukahi asked.

"YES!"

"Ooooh SMART!" Mukahi started rocking back and forth on his chair singing, "I am a genius…J-E-N…"

"J-E-N?" Atobe sweatdropped. "Real genius Gakuto."

"Shut up, I wasn't thinking!"

"Do you ever?" Shishido asked.

"Be quiet!!!"

"Okay test me!!!" Jirou bounced up and down handing Atobe his textbook.

"Hmm, what are the four main components of soil?"

"Umm…hey that's too hard!"

"It's on the test!"

"Uhh, moisture…?" Mukahi said.

"Hey, get your own test!" Jirou snapped, "Okay moisture…lemme think… uhhh…insects and …stuff?"

"Insects and stuff?" Atobe dropped the textbook as the rest of the team members burst out laughing.

"Oh that is so going in!" Mukahi took out the Book of Stupidity.

"Hey, you guys are sooo mean!" Jirou pouted picking up his textbook, "I wasn't ready for that hard a question!"

"Yuushi! Test me!" Mukahi grinned. "Gimme an easy one."

"…" Oshitari flipped through the textbook, "What vegetation are in the tundra?"

"Um…there is none, it's the tundra…"

"…"

"No wait!"

"…"

"Rocks!"

"Gakuto, rocks are not vegetation."

"Vegetation are living things…they must have cells." Shishido said.

"Wait…aren't rocks made up of cells?"

"…"

"Oh wait…the first cell came from a rock."

"..."

"What?"

"Gakuto, fifty lines saying 'I have a brain and I will try to use it from now'" Atobe ordered.

"He does?" Shishido feigned surprise.

"Hey! You can't order me lines!"

"Would you rather have fifty laps, ahhh?"

"No! I'm fine with lines." Mukahi hurried to steal a piece of paper off Shishido and proceeded to write his lines.

"Mukahi-senpai, you spelt brain wrong, it's b-r-a-i-n not b-r-i-a-n, that's Brian." Ohtori said.

"Oh did I?"

"Mukahi, why are you so stupid?"

"It's not my fault!" Mukahi raised his hand.  
"What?" Atobe asked, glancing up from his own textbook.

"Can I put ditto marks?"

"NO!"

"Aww, Yuushi!!! Atobe is being mean!"

"Gakuto, can you please stay on task for at least five minutes?" Oshitari asked, looking up from his book.

"Chotarou!!! Everyone's ganging up on me!!" Mukahi jumped into Ohtori, feigning hurt.

"Um…there…there…Mukahi-senpai?" Ohtori said nervously.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT CHOTAROU TO DO ABOUT IT?" Shishido demanded.

"Pipe down! No need to get your panties all…"

"SHUT UP!"

"Both of you shut up!" Atobe said, "I'm trying to study here!"

"Hey buchou!" Jirou grinned.

"What is it?

"I just came up with a theory!! The water grass absorbs is blue and the sunlight is yellow, then like…blue and yellow makes green right? That's why the grass is green!"

"Okay…"

"It does make sense!" Mukahi suddenly said.

"Um…"

"Jirou, the reason grass is green is because of chloroplasts." Oshitari calmly explained.

"Aww…" Jirou went back to his work.  
"But then, girls are red right? And boys are blue? So transvestites and hermaphrodites are like…purple, because red and blue makes purple…so like…transvestites are gay?" Mukahi asked.

"Uhhh…" Atobe gave Oshitari a look as if saying 'what did you do to him?'

"Wait…but then. Our veins are blue right? And our arteries are red, doesn't that make us purple?" Jirou asked.

"I get the feeling we're not talking about Geography anymore…" Ohtori said to Shishido.

"Jirou, no, the colour theory doesn't work that way."

"But…but…"

"NO BUTS!"

"…" Jirou went back to his work.

"Ne Yuushi! Let's play MASH!"

"What the hell is that?" Shishido asked.

"It's a game! Duh!"

"…"

"Okay for Yuushi, guys… Sakaki-sensei, Atobe…and…"

"Gakuto." Atobe said.

"What no!"

"Put that down Gakuto!"

"…okay! Me and…uhh…Tezuka!"

"…"

"Cars…hmm…Element…Mercedes…Civic…or…Ferrari…"

"Is the Element and Civic really necessary?" Oshitari asked.

"Yes!...Number of kids… 1, 2, 100, 10."

"Gakuto, in case you forgot…men can't have children together." Atobe said.

"… but…with technology these days...who says?"

"…"

"Okay…say stop."

"Stop" Oshitari said bored.

"OKAY 6!!!" Mukahi proceeded to do the Mash.

"Ouch…" Shishido glanced at Oshitari.

"Let me see that!" Atobe snatched the paper and burst out laughing. "Oshitari will have 100 kids with Mukahi…live in a Shack and drive a Honda Civic…"

The rest of the regulars, save Mukahi who blushed like crazy and Oshitari who was still intently reading the book burst out laughing.

"Well, at least we won't have to worry about the men having children together…"

Oshitari finally put down his book, annoyed, and took out a piece of paper. "Sakaki-sensei…Chotarou, Yoshida-sensei… and …Atobe."

"Ore-sama refuses to be put along with the senseis!"

"Camry, Element, Porsche, Corolla," Oshitari ignored Atobe.

"2, 5, 10, 320.."

"Who are you doing this for?"

"Shishido."

"WHY ME?"

"I'm bored."

"Valid excuse, Yuushi."

"Say stop." Mukahi ordered.

"No!"

"SaY it!"

"Okay STOP!"

"Seven!"

"Ugh…"

There was a minute of silence until Mukahi snatched the paper from Oshitari and waved it around…

"Yoshida-Sensei! 320 kids, Apartment, Camry!"

"…" Shishido had a coughing fit.

"What'd you do?" Atobe asked. "Choke on your own spit?"

"Yes…" Shishido mumbled.

"Um, Mukahi-senpai, who is Yoshida-sensei?"

"Oh, he's that stupid old jackass business teacher that like hates the world." Mukahi explained.

"That thing needs to be burnt." Shishido said.

"Or framed." Oshitari smirked.

"You wouldn't…"

"We might!" Mukahi grinned.

"You'd better not."

"Ore-sama can post it on the announcements board…" Atobe smirked.

"…" And the lights went off.

"Eek!"

"OUCH!"

"WHO JUST FELL ONTOP OF ORE-SAMA?"

"Shi-shishido-san…"

"SUGEE!" Jirou screamed, "If I turn this thing off here, everything turns off!"

"No duh, it's a switch, what do you expect it to do?" Mukahi sneered.

"JIROU TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON THIS INSTANT!"

And the lights went on again…

Jirou shielded his eyes against the scene. Mukahi was sitting comfortably on top of Oshitari who was sitting on top of and Atobe who was lying onto of Shishido.

"MUKAHI, GET YOUR BUTT OFF OSHITARI NOW!"

"Aww…okay…" Mukahi got up. "Hey this is just like that guy on the news that fell off his horse and stuff…!" Mukahi said.

"Yankee Doodle?!" Jirou spun around.

"…" That moment of silence was blissfully awkward until…

"OSHITARI, YOU CAN GET OFF NOW!"

Oshitari got up and stood beside Mukahi.

"Ow, my shoe hurts now!!!" Mukahi complained.

"Your shoe hurts…?" The team blinked.

"How the hell does your shoe hurt?" Shishido asked.

"Are you drunk or something?" Jirou asked.

"Hey! I've never inhaled alcohol!"

"...Inhaling alcohol…?" It took them a moment to process that. Atobe let out a groan and went to a far desk, put his head down and started shaking.

"Is buchou crying…?"

"Um…"

"He's laughing." Oshitari said.

"Ohh…"

"Well, Gakuto, I've never inhaled alcohol either."

"I don't think anyone has." Shishido mumbled.

"HEY! STOP TEASING ME!"

"Stop being stupid!"

"Aren't we doing geography…?" Ohtori asked.

"How are diamonds formed…?"

"Oil deposits were…SQUISHED!" Mukahi said, smacking his hands together.

"That's not right…"

"Okay," Atobe rejoined them. "What is relief precipitation?"

"…"

"Its…precipitation that's like…a mountain…" Shishido said frowning in thought.

"…precipitation can't be a mountain."

"Well, it's a mountain! It's high!" Shishido said, making wild hand gestures and random triangles with his arms.

"…Forget I said anything, you guys are going to FAIL!"

"Dude, they suckkk, they just got tricked…and now some metal thing with a cow's head is talking!!!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" The attention turned to the redhead.

"Well…" Mukahi took a moment to savour the attention, "…never mind…"

"Why did we have this study session again?"

"Why does Ore-sama have to put up with this!?!??!"

"Atobeee, I'm hungry!! Can I have some cake?" Jirou asked.

"NO!"

"But…"

"NO!"

"…"

"WHY?"

"NO!"

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Pretty Please?"

"NO!"

"With a cherry on top?"

"OKAY FINE! We're going out for cake!"

"YAYYY!!!"

* * *

**Glossary of Quotes:**

_I am a genius, J-E-N _–Raluca

_Insects and Stuff…?(What's in soil? Geo class) –_Tanvir (1)

_Rocks (vegetation in the tundra) _–Eric (1)

_Aren't rocks made up of cells? _–Ral (1)

_The first cells came from rocks _–Eric (1)

_The water grass absorbs is blue and the sunlight is yellow, then like…blue and yellow makes green right? That's why the grass is green _–Ral (1)

_Girls are red right? And boys are blue? So transvestites and hermaphrodites are like…purple, because red and blue makes purple…so like…transvestites are gay_ –Ral (1)

_Our veins are blue right? And our arteries are red, doesn't that make us purple?_ –me (not going to comment) (1)

_Chokes on her own spit- _Me…(yeah)

_Mash results _– my results, my business teacher, 10 kids, element, apartment

_Old Jackass teacher _refers to my business teacher (reizgys)

_SWEET! If I turn this thing (the switch) off here, everything turns off _– Cabalain

"the guy that fell off his horse"(Mr. Byrne) _Yankee Doodle??!!??!!? –_Ral (science class) (1)

_Shoe Hurts _–me…(…im stupid)

_I've never inhaled alcohol _– Ica (stupiddd!) (1)

_Oil deposits were squished –_Jen (1)

_It's a Mountain…it's high! _–Irina (1)

_Dude, they suckkk, they just got tricked…and now some metal thing with a cow's head is talking!!! _–ica (wtf is she talking about?)

(1) All recorded on May 1st 2007

* * *

_**A/N: **__yeah a lot of quotes!! Stupid people huh? This one prolly wasn't as great as the first one but there were just too many stupid things my friends said that I wanted to use. Ignore the mistakes, i didn't edit it...got lazy...Hope you liked it._

_For everyone I quoted!!_

_**Your reviews keep me going!**_


End file.
